If Home Is Where Your Heart Is. . . .

On Friday I drove Maggie twelve and a half hours to drop her off at Texas A&M (that is another post for another time) and on Saturday I drove home.  As we were heading West down I-40, the sunrise was in our rearview mirror and as I was heading home, the sunset was in my rearview.  I'm sure there are many ways that I could correlate that to what that drop off meant in my life, but for now, I'm just talking about sunrises vs. sunsets. Like the beach vs. mountain question, sunrise vs. sunset it typically a great get to know you bit.  And I don't know the answer to either one of those questions for me.  I love the beach!  I love the mountains!  I love sunrises!  I love sunsets! For me, a sunrise is HOPE!  When I see a sunrise, I feel hopeful.  It doesn't matter what I know that day holds or what yesterday held, for a few minutes I feel hopeful. And on the other hand, for me, a sunset is peaceful.  That is the weirdest part--it ...

I drove by this tree the other day and I had to made a big u-turn and go back to take a picture!  It instantly spoke to my soul.  Here is this dead stump (cut down by man) with an amazing new tree growing right out of the center towards the sun and fresh air.  Do I monologue about this and how this was a little sermon screaming to me or do I let it speak to you in the words you need?  That has been my dilemma for the past ten days.  And I've decided to let it speak to you because what it shouted to my soul may be different than what it whispers to your heart or speaks to your mind or shouts to your soul!

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.  (Romans 8:16-17) I used to read this verse and have a combination of the following questions mixed with extreme doubt, skepticism and disbelief: Co-heirs? Equal heirs? Fellow heirs? With Christ? Seriously? So, let me back up a little bit…. Let me take you into my baggage and into my experience with love—past and present.  I grew up thinking, and I still struggle with believing these lies today, that love is two things. ·     Love has favorites. ·     Love is conditional. . . I will never be good enough to earn or deserve or keep someone’s love. I grew up enjoying being most people’s favorite.  It was easy for me and I unknowingly fell into the tr...

Maggie, Tiki and I went to see The Lion King  a few days ago and it was really good.  I loved how close they stayed to the original cartoon, too.  Throughout the movie, I was struck by the role shame plays in Simba's life and how it relates so much to real life. For the "shame" takeaway, the characters are: Mufasa:  God Scar:  Satan Simba:  Man Timon & Pumbaa:  New Friends Nala:  Old Friends Pride Rock:  "Home" The land where Timon & Pumbaa live:  Run Away Land It was so interesting to me to watch shame play out-- it played out like it did in the garden with Adam and Eve and it played out the way I have seen it play out closer to home. . . . Simba was casually following Scar into the gulch to prove something.  At that point, it was fairly harmless just as it is in life.  Often, we need to prove something to ourselves or to others and it is fairly harmless, but in proving something, we are walking b...

When I started my blog many years ago, I ran the title through my head.  I remember thinking about Braner Party of 7 and wondering if I would still call it that if I lost a child and I remember wondering if I would change the title if we ended up adopting again.  Braner Party of 7 had the greatest ring to it (in my ears) and I hoped it would never have to change, but I thought about a couple what if scenarios.  I never once dreamed that I would be changing the title because my marriage was over.  Not only was that not an option in my head, it never even crossed my mind as a reason why Braner Party of 7 may not be a forever title. I love that I was that naive.  I love that I was that hopeful.  I love that I believed in forever so much.  I love that I had that much faith in us  so much. . . . I'm blogging again.  Blogging was so good for my soul and I have been a little bit lost without it.  I didn't know how to blog dishonestly when ...

This weekend we got tagged--I guess that's kind of a trendy way to say that our property was vandalized.  It was just chalk and it was extremely insignificant compared to the millions of examples of hateful vandalism around the country, but it happened all the same.  We washed the hateful words off of the driveway, but in a new way you can still see them--the driveway is much cleaner where the words were and as a result, they are still readable.  I feel like that, personally, right now.  The words are gone, but there is an emotional trace where they were that is nearly as evident as the words themselves were. . . .   Why were we targeted?  I don't know and I'm not going to speculate.  We all know what assuming does and I'm not going to be a part of finger pointing.  But, we were tagged and it stirred up many feelings inside of me and inside of my children.  We realize first hand how much hate is in this world. I didn't post about the inc...

Dear President Elect Trump, I'm not political and I have no desire to be.  I'm an American; however, and I am thankful to be. I have a couple of dear friends who know you personally.  They have described to me a gentleman who is kind and gracious and genuine.  They have described how comfortable they felt around you both in public and in private.  These women have described you to me as the kind of man you would hope for your kids to have as a grandpa (that is a big one for me since I have five kids).  The man they know you to be is respectable and good humored and caring.  They are thankful to know you and I am thankful for them that they can say they know such a man. The man I have seen on TV is so different from the true man they know.  I understand that the media can tangle words and misrepresent people to make them out to be anything they want that person to be.  I am very aware at the media's tendency (obsession?) with creating false ...