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Coronacation: My Heart Overflows

I woke up this morning with a heart overflowing. . . .

There are so many things about that statement that amaze me.  First of all, in order for my heart to be overflowing, I realized that it must be healed and I realized this morning that it is healed.  My heart that once was shattered into so many pieces that I honestly believed it would never be whole again is healed.  I'm sure it looks different and I am sure there is some scar tissue, but I am healed and not only am I able to hold love and joy, but I am overflowing with both.  I am whole and complete and full to the point of overflow.

And secondly, this quarantine, our "coronacation" has been a dream come true for me!  Why?  So many reasons!!!!

I have been sheltered in place for nearly a month with my family.  I have all five kids with me and that, in itself, is a dream come true, but it gets better than that!  

Hays has had his girlfriend, Blakely, here and it has been so great getting to know her and for them to be …
Recent posts

What's In A Year?

Today is one year since I packed up the kids and left Breckenridge heading East.  I know it was one of the top five bravest days of my life because it was one of the top five scariest days of my life, but I got in the car and drove.

It was before dawn on a cold and snowy morning and I had my kids, three dogs and a cat in my car and we were off.  My cousin was in the U-haul and my mom was in Maggie's car with her.  Our trip was delayed by a snow-covered interstate in Colorado and then by a detour around tornadoes in Missouri, but we made it to Tennessee 22 hours later.

Once we got to Tennessee, I dropped the humans off at my cousin's house in Brentwood and I took the animals to my new little house in Franklin.  I arrived in a new city, in a new and empty home at three in the morning and I felt as hopelessly empty and yet hopeful as that tiny house I would be calling home.  My heart was broken and empty and the unknown was screaming at me, but my soul was peaceful and filled wi…

Wonder

Happy New Year!  It is 2020 and I cannot even believe it: the Roaring Twenties all over again.  I’m not sure why the year 2020 is so much more surreal to me than 2019, but it is. I am so excited to have this blank canvas in front of me. I realize that it is just yesterday’s tomorrow, but something about the first day of a new year gives me refreshed hope and childlike anticipation of all of the best that is yet to come!

Every year I pick a word to really try and focus on – my word is my “rose colored glasses” for that year, and I try to see each day through the lenses of that word. This year, I am choosing WONDER.  I love WONDER because it can be a noun and it can be a verb; a feeling or a desire and I want 2020 to be filled with it.

Google dictionary describes WONDER (the noun) as, “a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.”  I want to be in WONDER constantly as I seek out the inexplicable beauty in people and…

Caving

A few weeks ago, I took my kids caving.  Honestly, I didn't realize that we would actually be caving, I thought we were just camping inside of a cave. . . but we actually went spelunking--4.5 hours of crawling and belly crawling and climbing and falling. . . . it was AMAZING!

It absolutely started as forced family fun which the kids had been dreading for months.  It ended up as a fantastic experience (not one they will ever choose to do again, but one that they can honestly say they are glad they did).

There were so many parts I loved.  As a mother, I loved watching my kids laugh and use humor to get through a stressful situation.  I also loved watching them help one another through physically tough spots and a couple of anxiety-filled tight spots.  My mother's heart swelled up so much that I barely fit through a couple of openings (okay, it was all of the Oreos of the past year, but whatever).

As I was lying in my sleeping bag, I was struck by just how amazing and loving Go…

Real Friends Wear Maroon

I have some great friends.  I really do.  These past few years have been filled with more tears and more pain than I knew possible, but my friends have come out of the woodworks to surround me and care for me and that has been indescribable.  There are about twelve girlfriends who have been my rocks and I can't even imagine doing the good, the bad or the ugly without them.

This past weekend, three of those friends did it again!  Last Spring we planned a trip to A&M with our boys and we've been looking forward to it for about six months.  The weekend was fun and time with our kids was great.  I loved them getting to spend some time with all of my kids and I loved that they got to hang out with my big kids.  We went to Midnight Yell and Step Off and the football game and we went bowling (16 of us) and played arcade games.  We stayed up talking past midnight and it was dreamy.  Overall, it was a fantastic weekend.

But what stuck out to me the most is that real friends wear m…

The FJ and Me

A friend of mine and her husband are down to one car for the week.  They have two young kids and going from two cars to one car can be stressful.  I, on the other hand, have an "extra" car in my driveway--it is our "kids' car" and currently I don't have a 16 year old in the house, so it is extra for a few more months.  So, today, while my friend was out to lunch after church, I dropped our "extra" car (the FJ) off at her house with the keys on the dash (assuming that she'll know by the A&M and Kivu stickers that the car is ours and is only a temporary loan).

I had to laugh as I was driving the FJ to her house because it was the perfect word picture of me right now.  (Backstory. . . . ) We moved to Franklin just over eight months ago and it has felt like I have been on a bad vacation.  It didn't feel like home and it felt like at any moment, we would actually go back home to Colorado and be a complete family (party of 7 and all) again.…

Little g gods and My Identity in Christ

This post is going to be a lot like prom dress shopping. . . I'm in the process of learning and growing and really studying and thinking through this topic of gods and identity and I'm not ready to pick "the dress" yet, but writing helps me think and helps me make sense of the chaos in my mind.  So welcome to my emotional dressing room. . . .

I've been wrestling with identity lately--I feel like this new chapter in my life has demanded that I do.  And the other night I was at a parents social for all of the 9th grade parents at Dax's new school and I left (early) really wondering about my identity.  I even had to call my brother, Brady (the pastor), to help me wrestle through it.

I know that my identity is supposed to be in Christ.  That isn't my question at all.  I am made in His image and I am the daughter of the King.  Those are facts I don't dispute.  (Do I have self image issues?  Yes!  Do I question my own self-worth?  Sometimes.  Those also are n…