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Showing posts from July, 2019

How Adoption Has Changed My View of God’s Love For Me

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.  (Romans 8:16-17)
I used to read this verse and have a combination of the following questions mixed with extreme doubt, skepticism and disbelief:
Co-heirs? Equal heirs? Fellow heirs? With Christ? Seriously?
So, let me back up a little bit…. Let me take you into my baggage and into my experience with love—past and present.  I grew up thinking, and I still struggle with believing these lies today, that love is two things. ·Love has favorites. ·Love is conditional. . . I will never be good enough to earn or deserve or keep someone’s love.
I grew up enjoying being most people’s favorite.  It was easy for me and I unknowingly fell into the trap of maintaining my “place” as the favorite.  
My grandparents were everything to me and I was their favorite and I love…

The Lion King and Shame

Maggie, Tiki and I went to see The Lion King a few days ago and it was really good.  I loved how close they stayed to the original cartoon, too.  Throughout the movie, I was struck by the role shame plays in Simba's life and how it relates so much to real life.

For the "shame" takeaway, the characters are:

Mufasa:  GodScar:  SatanSimba:  ManTimon & Pumbaa:  New FriendsNala:  Old FriendsPride Rock:  "Home"The land where Timon & Pumbaa live:  Run Away Land It was so interesting to me to watch shame play out-- it played out like it did in the garden with Adam and Eve and it played out the way I have seen it play out closer to home. . . .
Simba was casually following Scar into the gulch to prove something.  At that point, it was fairly harmless just as it is in life.  Often, we need to prove something to ourselves or to others and it is fairly harmless, but in proving something, we are walking beside Satan because of pride.  Ultimately, because Simba was in…

Never Thought I'd Need A New Title

When I started my blog many years ago, I ran the title through my head.  I remember thinking about Braner Party of 7 and wondering if I would still call it that if I lost a child and I remember wondering if I would change the title if we ended up adopting again.  Braner Party of 7 had the greatest ring to it (in my ears) and I hoped it would never have to change, but I thought about a couple what if scenarios.  I never once dreamed that I would be changing the title because my marriage was over.  Not only was that not an option in my head, it never even crossed my mind as a reason why Braner Party of 7 may not be a forever title.

I love that I was that naive.  I love that I was that hopeful.  I love that I believed in forever so much.  I love that I had that much faith in us so much. . . .

I'm blogging again.  Blogging was so good for my soul and I have been a little bit lost without it.  I didn't know how to blog dishonestly when my marriage started falling apart and I wasn…