If Home Is Where Your Heart Is. . . .

My dear, wonderful Gran'ma went home today and I know those are the words she heard admist the celebration.  Well done.  True. It was perfect.  Can I say that?  It was.  I arrived at her house yesterday.  My parents were out of the country and my dad had called me to say that she was non-responsive and so on.  I hopped on a plane yesterday morning and got to her side as quickly as I could.  Her darling nurse told her that I was there right when I walked in the door and by the time I got to her side, her eyes were open and she knew it was me.  She tried for about ten minutes to talk, and couldn't.  She maintained eye contact with me and I talked for her.  I told her all the things I wanted to say and I told her all the things I knew she was trying to say and then she slept peacefully as we held hands.  This morning she was resting but not as peacefully, I sat by her and held her hand and talked to her for a little bit and she soon relaxed.  My Uncle Bill and I sat on the

Hays got his permit this week and aside from the tension headache (for me) the first day, it has been smooth sailing!  The kids are not allowed to say anything to him and they are not allowed to make a big deal about buckling up.  He's a pretty good driver.  I like this one year permit thing instead of just saying "here's your license" like they did for us more than 20 years ago.  I know that when Hays does get his license next year, I'll know exactly how he drives and due to my fantastic coaching skills (okay, backseat driving), he'll be a superb driver by that time! And he looks EXACTLY like Andy in this pic.  So weird!

We started up Fondue Friday again and it was a blast!!!  Hays and his two friends, Nate and Colton, did all of the cutting and chopping and dicing and stirring.  It was wonderful!  Maggie had a friend over and Dax and Tiki had a friend over, too.  It was a full house and the dinner was so yummy!!!

This morning we were ready and out the door with time to spare. . . however, when we pulled out of our neighborhood, we saw that it had snowed on the mountains last night!!!  So, we dropped off Hays (Maggie had already been at volleyball for two hours) and I headed into the mountains with the littles.  It was so much fun!  We had the music turned up and we were singing and car-dancing.  As we got closer and closer (higher and higher) it was prettier and prettier!!!  We really do love living in Colorado and the snow and the views were so worth being two hours late to school!  We all threw snow balls (Gabby literally got me right between the eyes) and then we headed back to "real" life!  Fun first snow of the 2013-2014 season!!!

Really?  How is this even possible?  Fifteen?!?!?  It seems like just last month I was typing this post about his last birthday.  How is my baby fifteen today?  How will he be going to college in less than 4 years?  How will he be driving the rest of my kids to school starting Tuesday morning?  How am I so old?  How is all of this possible? The best part about it all is that Hays is fifteen and he still likes me, we still laugh together, we fight but he apologizes very quickly (quicker than I'm ready to officially forgive, I'm afraid).  He is a gentleman and he is thoughtful.  He is the first (or second) to notice when something is wrong with me and he follows through with truly wanting to know. He is taller than me--by a lot--for those of you who don't know.  His foot is bigger than Andy's.  His braces are off.  He wants to be a US Air Force pilot.  He is just finishing up his first year on the DHS JV golf team and is looking for a job.  He has some good frien

Someone please print this and take it up to her house and read it to her.  Thank you in advance. Dear Gran'ma, Its okay for you to go.  Its okay for you to die and go to Heaven to be with your Savior who you worship with every breath you take and to be with Pappy, who is your true and never-ending love.  I tried to tell you that you could go while I was with you a month ago, but I couldn't say the words.  I loved rubbing your thumb and feeling you pat my arm way too much.  Daddy told me that I needed to give you permission to leave, but I just couldn't.  I love you so so so much and I have begun to mistake my breathtaking love for you for needing to have you here and that has turned into selfishness.  Please go.  You will be whole in heaven and you will be free from the body that is failing you here on earth.  And I will see you again, so I must hold onto that. I know that I have told you before that I am terrified for you to leave me, and I am.  Who will love me

Oh my goodness!  Wednesday night was the best adoption group (in Colorado) ever!  The house was SO FULL of people and kids--people I've known for a while and people who I just met Wednesday night.  The house was so full and my heart was so full!  I think we had about 14 families and each family had 2-5 children.  There was talking and laughing and no fighting between the kids.  It was unbelievable!  Red and yellow, black and white. . .almost literally!  We had kids from the US, from Rwanda, from DRC, from Uganda, from Ethiopia, from China, from Korea, from Taiwan, from Guatemala. . .unbelievable!  I'm so thankful for the adoption community here in Durango!  Below are some pictures. . .they don't even do the happy chaos justice, though!!!

I'm sure that is not the grammatically correct way to say it, but today is Tiki and Me day.  When I wrote about him last in my "dead battery" post, I was so overwhelmed.  It's interesting that I knew I needed to take charge of the situation, but I wasn't ready. . .I was just too exhausted.  One of my life long friends even wrote me a beautifully encouraging email after that post and I couldn't even respond.  Well, I'm ready and I'm taking charge!!! Yesterday I had an intervention meeting at school about Tiki.  I was in the conference room with the school counselor, school psychologist, principal, vice principal, ELL teacher, reading intervention teacher and Tiki's teacher.  Wow!  The big guns of Riverview!  It was a great meeting!  I felt listened to and I felt like they all knew and really loved Tiki!  I got to hear just how smart he is and it was great to hear that from school people!  Academically he is doing great (not totally caught up, b

Last weekend we had to head to Denver for our Gap Year kick off weekend.  So, we loaded up the family and headed East.  After we got work out of the way, we decided to stay and play in Colorado Springs for the rest of the weekend.  We had big plans of visiting the US Naval Academy and the Garden of the Gods and a great Hot Air Balloon Show. . .well, thanks to the weather (and a party pooper or two), most of our plans remained just plans, but we had a super weekend anyway! The Naval Academy was a hit!  It was great for two main reasons.  First of all, my Uncle JoJo was the chief engineer on the Chapel project and I've always wanted to see it.  Secondly, Hays thinks he may want to go to college there and it was good for him to see it so that his dream can be the GPA stickler and not me!!!  I cannot believe that I have taken my son on a virtual college visit, but the time is getting close!  USAFA was wonderful!!!  (We watched a short film about Freshman at USAFA and I cried like 14

Dear Melissa, One year ago this morning I woke up to your voice mail.  You were sweet and sad.  You said that "Chase went to Heaven tonight" and that "he fought so hard" for you.  You talked about how precious the friendship between Chase and Hays "was and still is."  You were thoughtful and loving and sincere.  I bawled. Hays and I have missed Chase every day for the past year.  I don't miss him any less today than I did when I received your call. You have been amazing this year.  I haven't seen all of the good, the bad and the ugly, but I have admired you from afar.  You have ministered to Chase's friends and you have allowed them to grieve and hurt without shame.  You have encouraged my son and mentored him from afar in his grief.  How have you done it? I want you to know that I know that one year doesn't make a difference.  I know that you still hurt and you're still empty and you still would rather have your boy here