If Home Is Where Your Heart Is. . . .

I was scrolling Facebook today while my accounting computer spent hours upon hours updating (wish I could do Quick Books for non-profits on a Mac) and I came across this great reminder.  It is an excerpt from C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters .  I read this book decades ago and now I'm thinking about rereading it!  This letter is such a great reminder!!! My Dear Wormwood , I was thrilled to hear you have been making progress with the mother. You have a good lead, from what I hear. She’s feels over-worked, unappreciated, and discouraged? I’m so glad to hear it. If you tread carefully, this can be a great opportunity. With the kids waking her up every hour last night, we already have an advantage. A tired Mom makes for a more emotional Mom, and an emotional Mom is a vulnerable one. I do have a few tips. First, aim your best efforts at her marriage. As you know, we cannot do much with a unified marriage. Luckily for us, a cranky and exhausted wife can do wonders to

So, this year has been so full of changes for our family and like I've posted before, I am so happy to be in Breckenridge and to be on this new journey.  The transition has been pretty bumpy for Andy, though, and I call it the "not having a business card" syndrome.  Right now he is doing many fun things, but he doesn't have a true title or job description and it has been hard on him.  (I am blogging with his permission.) All Fall I have been really frustrated by the funk he has been in at home--his "I don't have a business card" funk.  We got to go on a retreat in October with a bunch of couples and we were the "new kids" at the retreat so there were about a zillion times when people asked us "tell us about yourselves."  Andy's answer was always about his work and my first thought was always about our family and Andy and I's relationship.  I found myself uber annoyed and hurt during the whole retreat as a result. Why did

A friend shared this article with me (please read HERE ) after my last post.  I bawled all the way through it! I AM NOT ALONE! I'm so thankful to read that I'm not the only crazy black and frozen hearted you-know-what of a mother!  That doesn't get me off the hook, but it was so refreshing to feel known, if even by a stranger deal with the same stuff. I do have grief I need to deal with regarding Tiki: I still carry a lot of hurt and other feelings as a result of my three miscarriages.  And one of them above all because that baby would have been the same age as Tiki.   I still carry loss--true and deep loss--for the Chinese daughter that was conceived in my heart and is still not in my family.  There is a big hole there with some bitterness and resentment towards Tiki (and Andy). Tiki wasn't the child I headed to Rwanda for.  I would have never considered adopting an older child, but I had met another boy (Lionel) who stole my heart and I went back to get hi

So, this post is going to be vulnerable.  If you're in the mood to criticize, then just stop reading.  If you're in the mood to judge, then stop reading.  Trust me: I'm getting enough criticism and judgement from myself.  But if you're in the mood to pray for me on my journey, then read on and callous those knees on my behalf! Tiki.  Many of you close to me know what a struggle he is for me.  Those of you not close to me see him for what he truly is: a sweet, kind, loving and happy boy who wants to love life and be a friend to all.  See.  I know those things about him.  I am very aware of Tiki's amazing qualities.  He truly is a fantastic boy.  But, up close and day to day, he drives me crazy!  Part of me thinks he drives me crazy because I want so much for him and part of me knows that he drives me crazy because my expectations of him are set too high and for some reason (no matter how hard I try), I cannot lower those expectations.  So, as you can clearly see