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Never Thought I'd Need A New Title

When I started my blog many years ago, I ran the title through my head.  I remember thinking about Braner Party of 7 and wondering if I would still call it that if I lost a child and I remember wondering if I would change the title if we ended up adopting again.  Braner Party of 7 had the greatest ring to it (in my ears) and I hoped it would never have to change, but I thought about a couple what if scenarios.  I never once dreamed that I would be changing the title because my marriage was over.  Not only was that not an option in my head, it never even crossed my mind as a reason why Braner Party of 7 may not be a forever title.

I love that I was that naive.  I love that I was that hopeful.  I love that I believed in forever so much.  I love that I had that much faith in us so much. . . .

I'm blogging again.  Blogging was so good for my soul and I have been a little bit lost without it.  I didn't know how to blog dishonestly when my marriage started falling apart and I wasn't ready for the world to know that my marriage was falling apart, so I stopped blogging.  I journaled--I have thousands of pages of journaling from the past few years, but I have missed my blog and I'm glad to be back at it.

But thinking of a new title was both difficult and heart breaking.  I still long for Braner Party of 7 to actually be a thing; to actually be our thing.  My fairy tale is over, but life is still moving along. . . .

I tried several titles on my blog (most were already taken) and I settled on If Home Is Where Your Heart Is for several reasons:

  • I've moved to a new city and a new house and I do not feel at home.  I feel lost and uprooted and it doesn't feel real to me on many levels.  However, I am with my kids (and my dogs) and they have my heart, so I am home.
  • Hays is in college 12 hours away and Maggie is heading there soon and my heart will be in more than one place, so where is home?
  • I can safely say that when I am with my kids, I feel like I am home.  It doesn't matter if we are in an actual home or if we are sitting in a dorm room or driving in the car or laughing on vacation--with them, I am home and that is a very beautiful place to be.
  • I may be physically uprooted and emotionally uprooted, but home (not the place) is still where my heart is, no matter where my heart is.
So, welcome back old friend is kind of what I am feeling like being back to my blog.  For those of you wondering about what happened in my marriage and all of the details behind why I had to change my blog title, be patient. . . over time the picture will be painted as you journey with me through healing into my next life chapter.  But for now, welcome back--welcome home.

Comments

Alison said…
You are my all time favorite blogger and I’m you’re biggest fan my friend. Love you. Soo soo soo glad you’re back. Remember me when you’re a famous blogger, ok?? Haha.
Jules said…
Love you. So glad you have this outlet.
Amber Andrew said…
Proud of you. As a supervisor turned mentor turned friend. Sharing is so needed and so hard sometimes. You’re in my prayers. Welcome back!
Lori Ann said…
All that matters is you find you again! We love you and support you in so many ways!
“You are clothed in strength and dignity and you will laugh again in the future”. Proverbs 31:25.
You got this!! All my love and prayers
Mr Michael said…
Love your heart...love your home...love you. Be blessed. Be a blessing.
Liza Tsahiridis said…
Right here with you. You know....❣️Liza
Anonymous said…
So proud of you JJ! You are brave! Glad you’re back!❤️
Melissa Pardeck said…
Girl, I love you. I'll road trip with you anytime to TX! :)
Libby Logan said…
Youre not alone on this journey.

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