I was scrolling Facebook today while my accounting computer spent hours upon hours updating (wish I could do Quick Books for non-profits on a Mac) and I came across this great reminder. It is an excerpt from C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters. I read this book decades ago and now I'm thinking about rereading it! This letter is such a great reminder!!!
My Dear Wormwood,
My Dear Wormwood,
I was thrilled to hear you have been making
progress with the mother. You have a good lead, from what I hear. She’s feels
over-worked, unappreciated, and discouraged? I’m so glad to hear it. If you
tread carefully, this can be a great opportunity. With the kids waking her up
every hour last night, we already have an advantage. A tired Mom makes for a
more emotional Mom, and an emotional Mom is a vulnerable one.
I do have a few tips. First, aim your best
efforts at her marriage.
As you know, we cannot do much with a unified
marriage. Luckily for us, a cranky and exhausted wife can do wonders to change
that. We must convince her that her husband is no longer the friend and ally
she first married. Instead, we must reveal every sin and selfish habit,
especially drawing attention to his thoughtless actions (mal-intended or not)
against her.
Sometimes it’s the less obvious things, things
the husband doesn’t even realize, that we can use to offend her the most. When
he comes home from work and dumps his things on the counter nearest the door
(instead of hanging his coat or putting away his keys), let her think of it as
a direct assault on her work as a homekeeper. When he treks mud in with his
shoes, let her think it is because he does not love her. Such extremes of
thought may seem ridiculous to you or I, but to the exhausted mortal woman, it
can seem possible. Your goal is to make her think the husband does not notice,
or even better, that he does not care about her efforts at home.
Secondly, do what you can to keep her focused on
her troubles and pains. Remind her how much her back aches, how draining the
children were all day, and how many undone tasks still beckon her. Do not let
her wonder what difficulties her husband faced that day or whether his back
might also be aching. Valuing others above oneself is one of those silly,
though strangely effective, tactics of the Enemy. If she stops to make him a
cup of coffee, the next thing you know she’ll be rubbing his shoulders and
flirting with him on the couch. It can progress out of your control if you’re
not careful.
Along those lines, be sure the Mother starts to
value productivity above everything else. Have her wake up early and work
non-stop until bedtime. If the husband relaxes in the evening with an hour of
computer gaming, be sure the wife notices the pile of unfolded laundry or
unswept floors. Do not let her grab a book and relax alongside her husband.
Diligence, often one of the Enemy’s virtues, when overdone can be used to our
advantage as well. Convince her that as long as there is a shred of work to be
done (and there always is), no one should be resting. Then, as she folds and
sweeps and he sits, you can introduce the sweet bitterness of resentment.
A word of caution here. Remember, the love of a
husband can be dangerous to our cause. If he senses her unhappiness, he may
begin to help or (even worse) show her affection. This is where previously
planted seeds of resentment can be guided into full bloom. Make her think that
his displays of affection are because he “only wants one thing”. Do not let her
view his help with the dishes (or kisses or cuddling) as having pure motives.
If he shows his desire for her, convince her that she is being used, not loved.
As we both know, the ultimate Act of Marriage can bond them together in a way
that can undo much hard work on our part. Because of this, do not allow her to
prioritize that Act on her mental to-do-list. It is in our best interest to
keep the wife busy, busy, busy and be sure she’s far too exhausted to consider
it by the end of the evening.
Now, onto the children. Lovely little
opportunities for us, the children, especially the little ones. We all know
that children are a favorite tool of the Enemy. He calls them Blessings and
Gifts and calls parents to lay down their lives for them, just as his Son did.
Insane, I know. We must convince her that the obnoxious little people she has
charge of are not really worth her sacrifice. When the Mother first dreamed of
having children, she probably imagined large, innocent eyes and chubby, happy
grins taking up the majority of her days. Do your best to shatter those
expectations.
Instead, draw attention to how much they take
from her. Let them take and take and take… And need and need and need, until
the Mother feels totally spent. Let them start crying at the same time for the
most irrational of reasons. Let the noise bother her. Let their bad behavior
surprise her. Do your best to make the day-to-day monotony of diaper changes,
meals, and baths seem simultaneously overwhelming and beneath her. Let her
think of all the better, more important things she could be doing with her
life, if only she didn’t have the children.
Don’t let her think about the future
responsible, faithful adults she is raising. Society changers, friends,
workers, husbands or wives… Don’t let her think of them as life-long companions
who will love her, converse with her, and care for her in her old age. Oh, and
definitely don’t let her think about the grandchildren she might be able to see
in their little grubby faces if she looked hard enough now. No, no, no…
Thinking ahead to when her work bears fruit, as the Enemy calls it, is always a
bad idea. Keep words like ‘heritage’ or ‘legacy’ far away from the runny noses
and jelly stains of the day to day.
If there is any last piece of advice I have for
you, Wormwood, it is to keep the Mother looking to her husband or family for
her fulfillment and comfort. We know that the Enemy is always watching and
willing to take the burdens of his children, but if we divert the Mother’s
attention well enough, this fact can be forgotten. Make her look to her husband
for worth and affirmation. Then, when he lets her down (as he is sure to do),
she will be ours to torment. Yes, the worst thing that could happen would be
for her to turn to Him with her needs and inadequacies. Once she realizes that
the Enemy offers a peace that transcends her situation, our work could be
utterly compromised.
Your Malevolent Uncle,
Screwtape
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