I was having a bad day the other day and I decided to sleep it off (napping with Gabby). When I woke up these beautiful wild flowers were on a vase on my nightstand along with a note that said: Dear Mom, I know that you have a lot of stress during the summer. These are to make you happy because they are just as beautiful as you! I love you to death. I wish I was around you more. Love, Maggie
Twenty-three years ago today Andy asked me to marry him. . . . he was my best friend and I thought he was the love of my life. Should I have said no?
I don't know how many times I have now been asked a version of that question in the past couple of years and I cannot count the number of times I have asked myself that question over the past decade, but it is a dumb question with no great answer.
If I would have said no 23 years ago, I would have saved myself from so many tears and so much pain, but I would have missed so much laughter and so many exciting firsts and I would be such a different person. . . .
Because of this day, 23 years ago, I am who I am and I have so much to be thankful for.
Because of this day, 23 years ago, I have five of the best kids on the planet. They are the continual highlights of my life and they are worth whatever heartbreak may come. I cannot imagine forever with different kids.
Because of this day, 23 years ago, I have worn an abaya in Saudi Arab…
When I started my blog many years ago, I ran the title through my head. I remember thinking about Braner Party of 7 and wondering if I would still call it that if I lost a child and I remember wondering if I would change the title if we ended up adopting again. Braner Party of 7 had the greatest ring to it (in my ears) and I hoped it would never have to change, but I thought about a couple what if scenarios. I never once dreamed that I would be changing the title because my marriage was over. Not only was that not an option in my head, it never even crossed my mind as a reason why Braner Party of 7 may not be a forever title.
I love that I was that naive. I love that I was that hopeful. I love that I believed in forever so much. I love that I had that much faith in us so much. . . .
I'm blogging again. Blogging was so good for my soul and I have been a little bit lost without it. I didn't know how to blog dishonestly when my marriage started falling apart and I wasn…
Maggie, Tiki and I went to see The Lion King a few days ago and it was really good. I loved how close they stayed to the original cartoon, too. Throughout the movie, I was struck by the role shame plays in Simba's life and how it relates so much to real life.
For the "shame" takeaway, the characters are:
Mufasa: GodScar: SatanSimba: ManTimon & Pumbaa: New FriendsNala: Old FriendsPride Rock: "Home"The land where Timon & Pumbaa live: Run Away Land
It was so interesting to me to watch shame play out-- it played out like it did in the garden with Adam and Eve and it played out the way I have seen it play out closer to home. . . .
Simba was casually following Scar into the gulch to prove something. At that point, it was fairly harmless just as it is in life. Often, we need to prove something to ourselves or to others and it is fairly harmless, but in proving something, we are walking beside Satan because of pride. Ultimately, because Simba was in…