I was so excited to be at James River (our church) yesterday morning. Our pastor was back from being out of town and it is one of the last Sundays that we will be in town before we leave. I love our church! I love the worship! And I think that our Pastor, John Lindell, is the best Bible teacher that I have ever heard!!!
Anyway. . .Lionel. . .for those of you who haven't watched the Show Hope video that stars Lionel, then you need to watch it!!! Go to http://www.showhope.org/Resources/VideoLibrary.aspx and then scroll down and click on the last video, "Picture This." It is a great video for so many reasons, but mostly because in it, Andy and I get "matched" with Lionel. I cry EVERY time!
In the video, Steven Curtis mentions how important it is for orphans to be adopted so that they will have the opportunity to know Christ in a personal way. And I've been thinking about that because Lionel already has a beautiful relationship with the Lord. So, I have to ask myself why, really, should we adopt? Is it for a child to have a home with a loving (most of the time) mother and father or is it for them to be in a home where they can learn to love the Lord? Is it for family or for salvation? Lionel is in good hands. He is in a home where the people truly love him!!! New Hope Homes isn't an orphanage where the children are just another number. It is a group of homes where the children are loved and hugged and taught the love of the Lord. Lionel is also at a boarding school which is probably better than most schools in the US. The education he is getting is unbelievable!
Lionel is doing great in Rwanda! He has love. He has friends. He has education. He loves the Lord. So, I'm having these weird feelings. I think part of it is me "protecting" myself from the probability that we will get "bad" news back from Bishop or from the Minister about not being able to adopt Lionel. I'm sure part of this feeling is me protecting my heart. But I have to wonder if part of it is the Lord pushing my heart away from Lionel and towards another child. How can I know?
All of that to say. . .in church yesterday I was feeling this little weird tug on my heart while I was praying (the tug mentioned above). Then it was time for the sermon and Pastor John tells us to turn to Job 23 before we turn to Luke (we've been studying Luke for four years). The title of the sermon was "Turning Disappointment Into Devotion." That was all I needed to hear before I got all teary and I begged God that this sermon NOT be for me. . .I don't want bad news! I don't want to give up Lionel! I don't want that disappointment right now (or ever)!
The sermon was WONDERFUL!! It was so good and I learned so much about disappointment through Luke 24:13-36. That sermon is an entirely different blog post that I hope I won't have to give!
Anyway, those are my feelings. Am I emotionally distancing myself from Lionel in order to protect my heart? Or is God gently distancing my heart from Lionel to protect me? How can I tell the difference? I want Lionel to be my son. Is this only the desire of a mother's heart or is it actually God's will for our family? I guess I'll just have to hold on a while longer and see how many more doors get closed or swung wide open!
Anyway. . .Lionel. . .for those of you who haven't watched the Show Hope video that stars Lionel, then you need to watch it!!! Go to http://www.showhope.org/Resources/VideoLibrary.aspx and then scroll down and click on the last video, "Picture This." It is a great video for so many reasons, but mostly because in it, Andy and I get "matched" with Lionel. I cry EVERY time!
In the video, Steven Curtis mentions how important it is for orphans to be adopted so that they will have the opportunity to know Christ in a personal way. And I've been thinking about that because Lionel already has a beautiful relationship with the Lord. So, I have to ask myself why, really, should we adopt? Is it for a child to have a home with a loving (most of the time) mother and father or is it for them to be in a home where they can learn to love the Lord? Is it for family or for salvation? Lionel is in good hands. He is in a home where the people truly love him!!! New Hope Homes isn't an orphanage where the children are just another number. It is a group of homes where the children are loved and hugged and taught the love of the Lord. Lionel is also at a boarding school which is probably better than most schools in the US. The education he is getting is unbelievable!
Lionel is doing great in Rwanda! He has love. He has friends. He has education. He loves the Lord. So, I'm having these weird feelings. I think part of it is me "protecting" myself from the probability that we will get "bad" news back from Bishop or from the Minister about not being able to adopt Lionel. I'm sure part of this feeling is me protecting my heart. But I have to wonder if part of it is the Lord pushing my heart away from Lionel and towards another child. How can I know?
All of that to say. . .in church yesterday I was feeling this little weird tug on my heart while I was praying (the tug mentioned above). Then it was time for the sermon and Pastor John tells us to turn to Job 23 before we turn to Luke (we've been studying Luke for four years). The title of the sermon was "Turning Disappointment Into Devotion." That was all I needed to hear before I got all teary and I begged God that this sermon NOT be for me. . .I don't want bad news! I don't want to give up Lionel! I don't want that disappointment right now (or ever)!
The sermon was WONDERFUL!! It was so good and I learned so much about disappointment through Luke 24:13-36. That sermon is an entirely different blog post that I hope I won't have to give!
Anyway, those are my feelings. Am I emotionally distancing myself from Lionel in order to protect my heart? Or is God gently distancing my heart from Lionel to protect me? How can I tell the difference? I want Lionel to be my son. Is this only the desire of a mother's heart or is it actually God's will for our family? I guess I'll just have to hold on a while longer and see how many more doors get closed or swung wide open!
Comments
may you receive peace in this time.
Glory to God!!!
Loved seeing your hubby, but miss you more!! :))))