I've been feeling so many Mother's Day feels this weekend. For starters, my big kids came home to surprise me and that was the most wonderful thing! I remember Mother's Day 2017 when I cried because Hays was a Senior in high school and heading to Texas A&M and I thought it would be my last Mother's Day with my five all together. . . . and yesterday proved those tears unnecessary! And then, as if that wasn't more than I could ever wish for, Marc spoiled me like I have never been spoiled before. I am consistently blown away and humbled by how much he appreciates me and shows me his appreciation with words, gifts, acts of service and more. I am so grateful for this husband of mine and the way he loves me and shows our kids what selfless love is supposed to look like!
But even before yesterday, I've been thinking a lot about all of the different dimensions of motherhood I now experience and it is shaping me into a new and stronger and more compassionate and understanding and brave person. I have so many different images of mothers in my life and I play so many different roles as a mother and that's what I've been thinking about.
My childhood is wrapped in the memories of my Gran'ma's arms. She seems to hold my childhood in such a safe and fascinating place of my heart. My times with her were times of wonder and imagination and times we seemed to share in these exclusive and secret moments. Even though she wasn't my mom, she holds a very special place in my heart on Mother's Day (and every day).
My Mom, of course, holds the honored and cherished spot in my heart on Mother's Day. She is fierce and loyal and has taught me to be independent within the protective boundaries of unconditional love. She has been my superhero in adulthood and she inspires me to be a better version of myself daily.
I have a new mother-in-law this Mother's Day who I am so thankful for. I have been so humbled with the big love she has given me as she welcomed me into her heart and into her family so graciously and effortlessly.
My girlfriends are literally some of the best mothers I know! As I was thinking about them this weekend, I literally was awed at how blessed their kids are to have them and inspired by how each of them mother so differently and so wonderfully for their families. I won't shout them all out here, but the ones I interact with on a weekly basis are the ones right off the top of my head:
- My soul-sister in Breckenridge, Kelly, who loves her kids with such ease and excitement and grace and energy. She is on a snowboard or a dirt bike or a hiking trail loving them every weekend and instilling a love for the outdoors and adventure within them. She leads by example in the way she loves others and sees the good in the world. She is selfless and kind and loves her husband out of a joy that overflows from her heart. She makes you want to see the world with honest but rosy glasses and she sees the true goodness in her children. I love watching her be a mom.
- My best friend, Beth, who is the most positive and kind servant I have ever met. She serves her boys joyfully and tirelessly and is so fast to jump in that they don't even see that there is a gap she is filling. She honors her husband so well and her boys have learned to love from her selfless sacrifice which she makes look effortless. She delights in the works of her hands and gives out revelation-truth to feed others (Proverbs 31:13-14 TPT).
- Kristie who is wise and gentle and parents the heart, mind, body and soul of her children without even batting one of her pretty eyelashes. She serves her family and takes care of them in the most wholistic Luke 2:52 way. She is a woman of strength and mighty valor (Proverbs 31:10 TPT).
- I am constantly humbled by the way Tiffany parents with such boldness and bravery. Her shining light will not be extinguished, no matter how dark the night (Proverbs 31:18 TPT). I have seen her walk her family through beautiful and easy times and I have seen her guide her family through dark and confusing times. She loves her children with honest and individual love and walks with brave empathy along side them as they journey through life.
- My sister-in-law, Missy is a wise prayer warrior who parents with a gentle authority. She is not afraid of tribulation, for all her household is covered in the dual garments of righteousness and grace (Proverbs 31:21 TPT).
- Alison is tireless in her love for her children. She watches over the ways of her household and meets every need they have (Proverbs 31:27 TPT), especially now as her husband is deployed. She advocates for her children and has raised them to be fun and loving and independent and generous because she is all of those things.
- And I have to acknowledge my step-sons' mother, Tracy, who is brave enough to trust me to love her boys. I cannot imagine being as graceful as she has been to another woman stepping into the role I have stepped into. I'm so thankful that she allows me to love her boys in the ways that I do which are different than the ways she does.
- I have my three biological children who I grew inside of me and loved before I even met them. They are my flesh and blood and nothing could make me love them less. I have watched them succeed and I have watched them fail, I have watched them laugh and I have watched them cry. They are my heart and my soul and my heart overflows with love so strong for them that I actually physically feel it.
- I am an adoptive mom and I have two children who hold an equally important place in my heart. I did not know them in the first moments of their lives and they do not look like me, but I love them fiercely. I didn't think I would be able to love the children of another woman as much as I loved my biological children, but I do and they are my "own" as if I brought them into this world. My heart bursts in their brightest moments and breaks in their lowest and I love them even more day after day.
- I'm a stepmom to boys who have a great mom whom they love. They didn't need or want another mother and I came into their lives without their blessing. Being a step-mom has been hard and I feel invisible, but it has taught me how to love in a new and deeper and more selfless way. It has not been rewarding, but my hope grows in endurance as I love from a new depth of myself that I didn't know I had inside of me.
- I am also a grieving step-mom who loves a son who I will never get to hug again on this side of heaven. My grief has been complex and surprising as I navigate the loss of someone I hardly knew, but who I had committed my heart to. I lost someone who didn't necessarily love me or even want me in his life, but I was hopeful that one day I would win him over and I've lost that opportunity, so I grieve for that.
- And I'm a mother-in-law and that is such a fun role to hold. I love my daughter-in-law with my entire heart and I am so grateful that she lets me be her cheerleader and her wise counsel and her comic relief. It is a weird role to step into because there isn't really a script for boundaries and expectations and she has gracefully let me fail and generously helped me succeed!
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