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Showing posts from September, 2014

My New Driver

Hays passed his driver's test with flying colors!  The drive check person (from the DMV--what is her title actually?) said that he was one of the best she has ever had!  I agree.  He really is a great driver.  I had none of those "on my goodness" feelings of fear mixed with anxiety when he drove away or when he drove Maggie to school the next day.  He's great!  I did, however, have some weird mommy feelings about my boy growing up and my entire world driving away in that FJ.  I'm just such a proud mommy!!! I'm loving what a good brother he is being. . .and good son.  He is communicating well.  He is being thoughtful.  He is asking to help out.  He is willingly taking his siblings places.  I am so very proud of him and so very thankful for him.  For 16 years I thought my boy getting his license would be so freaky and it is just so normal.  I love him so much and he is turning into such an amazing young man and I love it--I love him!

One Year Ago

Today marks one year since my Gran'ma died.  I don't miss her any less.  In fact, I think I miss her more today than I did a year ago.  It has been hard not having her--hard for many reasons.  Not a day goes by when I don't think, "I need to call Gran'ma. . ." about something.  Often I just want to chat or share something small with her.  But this year has been full of many big things, too, that I know she would love--taking the kids to Rwanda and Hays turning 16 are two biggies. It amazes me how much her absence is noticed by me with regards to all of my other relationships.  I feel like she left a gigantic hole in my heart--a hole that is gaping because I feel like I have to stay on my toes with all of the relationships I have left on this earth.  I feel like there are tiny insecurities I have in each of my significant relationships and I never realized that fully until my Gran'ma was gone.  It is amazing what a difference it makes to go from being

Sweet 16

Is 16 sweet when you're a boy?  I'm not really sure if I've ever heard someone say that when referring to a boy turning 16.  Oh well.  My boy is sweet and he is 16--TODAY! I've been mental blogging about this birthday for weeks (is that pathetic?) and now that I am blogging about it, I don't even know what to say. How is my boy16 already?  How is that even possible?  How have I been in love with this boy--this boy who completely changed my live, this boy who made me a mom--for 16 years?  How was it 16 years ago that I was on the couch holding this adorable bundle crying because someday he would go to college?  Wasn't that last week?  It is so crazy that that nightmare of him going to college is closer than that day 16 years ago.  OH MY! He is a great kid!  I am so proud of him!  He is thoughtful--he knows what I am thinking and feeling even when I try and blow it off.  He knows me.  He is a fantastic kid--young man, I guess.  He is considerate and sympa

Throw Back to Missouri

When I was playing catch up on my blog yesterday, I realized that I hadn't even posted about my trip back to Missouri.  I kind of think I didn't blog about it because it was very emotional for me being back for the first time since my Gran'ma died. I got to spend time in my Gran'ma's home.  This may seem weird to many--it is where I stay when I go home, so that's why I was there.  It was so peaceful.  I loved begin there.  That wasn't the hard part.  I loved being at home in her home.  I loved being in my "safe" place and I realized during this visit what a safe place her home truly was for me. Picking up my kids from camp was so great!  A month is a long time! Cousins and third cousins!  We had to say good-bye to Chaco.  That was a sad day.  He went to a much better place (truly he did, we didn't kill him and just tell the kids that).  He is on a bunch of land in Oklahoma where he is king of 100 goats and pigs.

Playing Catch Up

Oh my goodness!  What a whirlwind these past few weeks have been!  School starting (have I mentioned four different schools this year?), and activities (tap, football, volleyball and golf), family reunion in Phoenix, Gap Year Class of 2015 in town, games, tournaments, practices, cooking, cleaning, working, fun. . . . WHIRLWIND! Braner family reunion in Phoenix was fun--it was HOT.  Never go to Phoenix over Labor Day if you can help it.  But it was fun being with family for a couple of uninterrupted days!  The kids loved it!  And my cousin, Chelsea, and her kids crashed our party one morning and we loved that, too! Football season has started and it is hysterical.  The coaches and the parents are hysterically annoying for sure.  You would think that the NFL scouts were at every game and every practice.  RIDICULOUS!  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  Dax was not really cut out for football, but Tiki was.  Wow!  He is a warrior at heart and he loves to hit and he thinks and f