Today is one year since I packed up the kids and left Breckenridge heading East. I know it was one of the top five bravest days of my life because it was one of the top five scariest days of my life, but I got in the car and drove.
It was before dawn on a cold and snowy morning and I had my kids, three dogs and a cat in my car and we were off. My cousin was in the U-haul and my mom was in Maggie's car with her. Our trip was delayed by a snow-covered interstate in Colorado and then by a detour around tornadoes in Missouri, but we made it to Tennessee 22 hours later.
Once we got to Tennessee, I dropped the humans off at my cousin's house in Brentwood and I took the animals to my new little house in Franklin. I arrived in a new city, in a new and empty home at three in the morning and I felt as hopelessly empty and yet hopeful as that tiny house I would be calling home. My heart was broken and empty and the unknown was screaming at me, but my soul was peaceful and filled with a hope that was matched only by my fear.
I woke up the next morning and the day was a great word picture of where I was emotionally. It was dark and gray and the rain falling from the sky was barely above freezing (it was miserable). . . . but, there were daffodils blooming along the driveway promising that Spring was coming.
It has been a year filled with more pain and tears than I ever expected. It has been a year filled with shattered dreams and a broken heart that continued to break; even when I didn't think that was possible. A broken hearted mom and her five broken hearted kids trying to figure out what life looks like now. . . .
. . . . and yet, it has been a year of hope and new beginnings. Like those daffodils on that cold February morning, braving the weather and promising the upcoming Spring. . . . Spring has come to our little family. We have found a rhythm. We have found laughter and hope. We have rediscovered love: how to love and how to let others love us without fear.
The lows were desperately low, but the highs and the promises of higher highs to come have been epic. I know that we cannot appreciate the good without the bad and our little family is now able to appreciate all of the little "goods" that life brings!
Winnie the Pooh said, "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." That has been the me of the past 365 days. I am excited to move on braver and stronger and smarter and I am praying that my kids feel braver and stronger and smarter, too!
Once we got to Tennessee, I dropped the humans off at my cousin's house in Brentwood and I took the animals to my new little house in Franklin. I arrived in a new city, in a new and empty home at three in the morning and I felt as hopelessly empty and yet hopeful as that tiny house I would be calling home. My heart was broken and empty and the unknown was screaming at me, but my soul was peaceful and filled with a hope that was matched only by my fear.
I woke up the next morning and the day was a great word picture of where I was emotionally. It was dark and gray and the rain falling from the sky was barely above freezing (it was miserable). . . . but, there were daffodils blooming along the driveway promising that Spring was coming.
It has been a year filled with more pain and tears than I ever expected. It has been a year filled with shattered dreams and a broken heart that continued to break; even when I didn't think that was possible. A broken hearted mom and her five broken hearted kids trying to figure out what life looks like now. . . .
. . . . and yet, it has been a year of hope and new beginnings. Like those daffodils on that cold February morning, braving the weather and promising the upcoming Spring. . . . Spring has come to our little family. We have found a rhythm. We have found laughter and hope. We have rediscovered love: how to love and how to let others love us without fear.
The lows were desperately low, but the highs and the promises of higher highs to come have been epic. I know that we cannot appreciate the good without the bad and our little family is now able to appreciate all of the little "goods" that life brings!
Winnie the Pooh said, "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." That has been the me of the past 365 days. I am excited to move on braver and stronger and smarter and I am praying that my kids feel braver and stronger and smarter, too!
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