If Home Is Where Your Heart Is. . . .

I know, I'm a day late (2 days late now because we had no internet yesterday), but the Kindergarten Chinese New Year celebration was today and it threw me off.  Gabby went to school this morning looking like the best little Chinese girl she could and I must say that she pulled it off rather well.  She's adorable.  Fact! This Chinese New Year has been so painful for me.  This should be our last one without our baby from China.  Next year, after waiting nearly a decade, we would be celebrating Chinese New Year with her in our arms.  However, we've decided that we're stopping at five.  And I use the phrase "we've decided" very loosely because I am submitting to the wisdom of my husband on this decision as my heart crumbles all around me.  I'm devastated. The decision was made before Christmas and that is when my heart actually shattered, but today we got an email from our adoption agency saying, "Congratulations!  You are 'on deck'!  ...

My sweet brother is a pastor.  That in itself blows me away because I think of him as so dear and quiet and behind the scenes.  But he's a pastor of a great church in Florida!  The church seems wonderful!  The people seem to be so excited about the fellowship and because of Brady and Jennafer, the community there at their church is better than family.  I love what I've seen of Brady's church (unfortunately only from afar) and I am so proud of my little brother! Today is their one year church birthday celebration!  If you're in the Orlando area or if you are ever visiting Orlando, GO!  I don't think you'll meet a happier group of people than you will at Mosiac@WDW.  My brother is a great teacher, but I think the community of the church is probably what you will enjoy most.  (Click HERE for their website.) Happy Birthday, Mosiac@WDW!  Some day I will get to visit!  And Brady, I am so very very proud of you!  Way to build a ...

"I'm careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can strive for; perfection is God's business." -Michael J. Fox “Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach hard lessons, and to do the right thing, even when you are not sure what the right thing is.”  -Donna Bell

Hey everyone. . . Andy is on Family Talk Radio TODAY and you can listen to it any time.  Just click HERE and it will take you to the website.  It will only be available today and you shouldn't miss it!  Ryan Dobson called me yesterday to tell me how excited he is about what a great interview it was!  So please don't miss it! 

My friend, Beth Wiebe, got to visit and it was the best 46 and a half hours I've had in a while!  It was so fun to have a dear friend here!  We laughed and talked and just sat.  It was great having her just live life with me (us).  She accompanied me on school pick up and drop off of every kind.  She is so easy to be with and she makes my heart happy!  I'm thankful to have a friend like Beth and I am so thankful that she got to come see where I live life. Thanks, Beth!  Love you!

So, this post has nothing to do with that old country song by Mac Davis (1980), but I thought I'd start out with his song because it makes me laugh (and I need a good laugh today). O, Lord, it's hard to be humble When you're perfect in every way I can't wait to look in the mirror 'Cus I get better looking each day To know me is to love me I must be a hell of a man O, Lord, it's hard to be humble I'm doing the best that I can This post actually has the exact opposite to do with that song.  (Warning, this is going to be a very vulnerable post from the depths of my soul. . .it may get ugly.)  I may have the world's worst self image.  Seriously and I feel like over the past several years it has gone down hill fast. . .worst and getting worser (not a word, but it works).  I struggle with inadequacy from the very core of my being.  I never feel good enough.  Never.  I'm too fat or too ugly or too mean or too boring or whatever.  I am trap...

o2.o3.o4 that's the birthday we picked for you.  I have no idea when you were born or what circumstances surrounded your birth.  I don't know much about you from that date until you became mine, but that really doesn't change much.  Today I think about your "tummy mommy."  Where is she?  What is she doing?  Is she alive?  Does she think about you?  Does she miss you?  Why'd she let you go?  What is she like?  I don't know.  I don't know any of it.  It isn't mine to know. But today we celebrate you!  You've had the flu this week and today is your first day out of bed.  I'm not sure if your presents even held a candle to you getting out of bed and out of your room and out of this house!  You're thrilled!  I'm sitting in my room watching you and Dax be brothers outside.  Sledding and snow boarding and wrestling in the snow.  You've changed our lives so much and I am mostly happy that you and...